Rahul Gandhi Quits From Congress; Cites Comedy As Haraam

UPA Chairperson’s Sonia Gandhi’s son Rahul Gandhi resigned from the post of Congress President today. While he had been adamant about resigning since Congress’ debacle in the Lok Sabha Elections 2019, nobody really thought he would actually go through with it, not even mother Sonia.

Popularly known as the ‘Shehzada’ of Gandhi dynasty, Rahul Gandhi is renowned for his ace oratory skills, a class apart comic timing and ahead-of-his-time ideas. However, when it comes to politics, he was handed over the role of Congress President not for his skills but by default of birth. But let’s face it, Rahul could not manage the Hannah Montana life for long.

While several politicians, well-wishers and social media users were at their wit’s end trying to figure out the actual reason behind Rahul Gandhi’s resignation, a Congress veteran gave away the big reveal in the condition of anonymity:

”Comedy is haraam in Islam. Rahul baba started feeling that its time that he starts mending his relationship with his religion. After dropping Amethi and taking up Wayanad, this was the only next logical step!” said Moti.

In the past few years, Rahul Gandhi was quick to become a nationwide sensation when it comes to stand-up comedy. He is also known for openly siding with minorities. The Gandhi scion had just recently made his place in the comedy circle, and was at his professional peak during the run-up to Lok Sabha elections. However, after Zaira Wasim’s decision to quit acting as Islam forbade it, Rahul Gandhi was seemingly moved beyond measure.

”Oh thank heavens that he has quit comedy! It was getting really difficult for me to make people laugh at my forced-Modi-jokes. But he was a natural at it I must say. We will miss him!” said an unemployed standup comedian trying hard to be funny.

Currently, it is not clear whether Rahul has decided to embrace the practices of Islam in its entirety or not, but his upcoming visit to London might just be a ’tip’ off for an impending change in junk design etc. London as we know it is a shopping destination for most spoilt rich Indians, another reason for Rahul’s visit might have to do with converting and then imposing Hijab on his Catholic mother Sonia & sister Priyanka. However, marriage with sister Priyanka might not be on the cards and solely depends on if Robert Vadra survives his operation or not. More on this awaited.

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