Big news is coming from Beirut, Lebanon, where Hezbollah has preponed ‘No Nut November’ to be celebrated in September itself after Israel blew up the pagers of thousands of its fighters, leaving them without any ‘nuts’.
Hezbollah has asked the whole Ummah to not wait for November to celebrate it and celebrate it in September with them in solidarity. Its closest ally and long-term supporter, Iran, has answered the call, as Iran’s Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, has announced a 3-day national holiday for its citizens and officials to celebrate ‘No Nut November’ early, during which they can destroy each other’s nuts to show their solidarity with Hezbollah.
Fauxy sources suggest that Israel is also closely observing which nations or organizations will answer Hezbollah’s call to celebrate ‘No Nut November’ early, as they are eager to assist them in their celebration.
Currently, insurance companies around the world are reporting a surge in testicular insurance, while cell phone companies are reporting a downturn, as Palestinian and Hezbollah supporters are afraid to keep their phones in their pockets after the events of September 17.
