Big news is coming in from Lebanon, where Hezbollah has now declared that an AI-generated person will be its new leader, ensuring Israel will not be able to harm him with their creative bombs and airstrikes.
Israel killed Hezbollah’s Chief, Hassan Khalil Yasin, who had replaced Hassan Nasrallah just hours after Nasrallah’s assassination. Following these events, no one was willing to take on the role of Hezbollah’s leader due to fear. Hezbollah’s HR department even put out a vacancy for the position of CEO, but with the tenure listed as “on Israel’s mercy” and the pay as “72 Virgins,” no one applied. As a result, Hezbollah decided to appoint an AI-generated person as its new leader.
Speaking to The Fauxy, a senior Hezbollah member said, “If there can be AI influencers, doctors, and even CEOs, why not an AI terrorist? We organized voting where every Hezbollah member who still had his balls was allowed to vote, as we consider members without balls equivalent to women, and women don’t have voting rights in our culture. Every member voted in favor of an AI leader.”
Currently, Israel is developing its own AI soldiers to take out the new AI Hezbollah commander in a bid to score a hat-trick in killing Hezbollah’s Chiefs.
